For some, Mother's Day can stir feelings of sadness, loneliness, or even resentment
As Mother's Day approaches, many look forward to celebrating with cards, flowers, and family gatherings. But for those who have lost their mother or a child, or whose relationship with motherhood is complex, this day can be a painful reminder of absence, longing, or unresolved emotions.
Grief does not follow a calendar, but certain dates heighten its presence. Mother’s Day, with its emphasis on maternal love and connection, can feel particularly heavy. It may stir feelings of sadness, loneliness, or even resentment as the world around us seems to be joyfully celebrating what we have lost or never had.
Anticipating the day can be just as challenging as the day itself. The weeks leading up to it are filled with advertisements, gifts and cards in the shops and online, social media posts, and conversations that can feel intrusive, making it difficult to escape reminders of what is missing. This anticipation can create a sense of dread, intensifying the emotional impact of the day.
Acknowledge your emotions and allow yourself to feel whatever arises—grief, frustration, gratitude, or even relief. There is no ‘right’ way to experience this day, and whatever you feel is valid.
Suppressing emotions can make them more overwhelming in the long run.
It may help to plan ahead and decide how you want to spend the day. A growing number of companies, such as Moonpig give you the option to opt out of Mother’s Day emails, which can help reduce the noise around the day.
Some find comfort in remembering their mother or child in a personal way, such as lighting a candle, looking at old photographs, or engaging in an activity that holds special memories.
Others may prefer to create distance from the occasion by treating it as an ordinary day, avoiding social media, or surrounding themselves with supportive people who understand their grief.
If the day feels too heavy to bear alone, reaching out for support can make a difference. Speaking to a friend, joining a grief support group, or seeking professional support can help dealing with the emotions that arise. Connection does not erase the pain, but it can ease the burden of carrying it alone.
For those whose relationship with their mother was complicated, the day may bring mixed emotions. It is okay to grieve the relationship you wish you had, just as it is okay to set boundaries and protect your emotional wellbeing from messages that do not align with your experience.
However you choose to approach Mother’s Day, be gentle with yourself. Grief is not something to ‘get over’ but something to learn to live with. Each year may feel different, and that is okay. The love and memories that remain are yours to carry in whatever way feels right for you.
We have grief specialists who specialise in parental loss and child loss. Please message us if you need help finding someone for you to work with.
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