When someone’s life is cut short through violence, the grief can be overwhelming
In recent weeks, the news has been awash with a spate of teenage victims of knife crime, even in school. We send our children to school each day believing they will be safe. It’s unimaginable waving your child off in the morning, only to find they’re never coming home.
In 2023-24, 53 of 64 homicide victims aged between 13 and 19 - or 83% - were killed with a sharp instrument, according to figures published by the Office for National Statistics (ONS), February 2025.
When someone’s life is cut short and taken through an act of violence, the grief can be overwhelming. The sudden, brutal nature of a murder leaves families, friends and the wider community in shock, grappling with emotions that feel impossible to process.
In recent years, the rise in knife attacks, particularly those involving teenagers, has left many communities devastated, with parents, siblings, and friends struggling to cope with the unimaginable loss.
The emotional fallout of a violent death is complex. It is not just grief; it is trauma, anger, fear, and often a deep sense of injustice. Those left behind may feel lost, unable to comprehend how such an act could happen.
An additional layer of heartbreak
The grief is compounded by the suddenness, the violence, and the knowledge that the person they loved was taken far too soon. For parents, the pain is immeasurable. Losing a child is a parent’s worst nightmare, but to have that loss inflicted by another person’s actions adds an additional layer of heartbreak.
Feelings of shock and disbelief are often the first responses to such a tragedy. Many struggle to accept the reality of what has happened, experiencing waves of confusion. This can be followed by intense anger—towards the perpetrator, the circumstances, even the authorities if they feel more could have been done to prevent it.
Parents may feel guilt, questioning whether they could have protected their child, even when the circumstances were completely beyond their control.
Everyone grieves differently
For those directly affected, it is important to acknowledge that there is no ‘right’ way to grieve. Everyone experiences loss differently, and there is no set timeline for how long and how intense your feelings might last or be.
Seeking support is crucial. Grief specialists can help you process your emotions, providing a safe space to express pain, fear, and anger. Support groups for families affected by violent crime can also be invaluable, helping you to connect with others who understand your experience.
Seeking support
In addition to professional support, lean on close friends and family members. The isolation that grief brings can feel overwhelming. Having a support network can provide comfort. Speaking about the loss, sharing memories, and allowing yourself to feel emotions without judgement is an important step in releasing the pain.
For parents who have lost a child to knife crime, campaigning for change can sometimes provide a sense of purpose. Many families have channelled their grief into activism, working to raise awareness and push for changes in policies to help prevent further tragedies.
While this does not lessen the pain of loss, it can offer a way to remember their child and create something positive from their suffering.
The impact of violent loss is far-reaching, affecting not only close family but also friends, teachers, and entire communities. Schools may need to provide additional support for students who have lost a friend or classmate, helping them to navigate their emotions and providing them with the resources they need to process their grief.
Bringing people together
Community initiatives can also help, bringing people together to support one another and work towards preventing further violence. One of our grief specialists creates journals for grieving children. See www.lessonsinloss.com for details.
It is important to remember that grief does not have an endpoint. The pain of losing someone to murder does not simply disappear, but with support and self-compassion it is possible to find a way forward.
If you have been affected by violent crime and need support, please reach out. You are not alone, and there are people who care and want to help you through this difficult time. Visit our directory of grief specialists.