When the Holidays Hurt: The Hidden Grief of The Easter Holidays (or any for that matter!)

This time of year can feel lonely - but little by little, things do start to feel less heavy

“Have a lovely weekend.”

“Enjoy the Easter holidays.”

“Got anything nice planned with the kids?”

They’re well-meaning words, said with a smile at the school gates. But when you’ve lost your partner, when you're the one left doing it all, they can hit differently. You smile back, maybe nod, say something vague.

But inside, it feels hard. Because no, the weekend doesn’t feel lovely. The holidays don’t feel exciting. They feel heavy.

You see other families heading off, chatting about plans, both parents piling into the car, and it stings. Not because you begrudge them happiness, but because yours looks so different now. Because your person, the one who was supposed to be here, isn’t. And that hurts in ways it’s hard to explain.

You find yourself feeling resentful sometimes, even if you don’t want to. Not being invited to things, or feeling like people have forgotten. Feeling left out of that family bubble that used to be yours.

Feeling Isolated

And then comes the guilt, because you know people have their own lives, and they can’t always be checking in or thinking about how hard it is for you. It’s not their fault. But still, it can feel so isolating.

You try to do all the things. The Easter egg trails, the crafts, the Bunny visits. You watch your children’s faces light up, and you’re so grateful for that joy. But there’s a sadness underneath it too. A sadness that they don’t get to share these moments with both their parents. That you don’t get to turn to your person and say, “Look at them.” That there’s no one to share that knowing smile with, or to collapse on the sofa with once it’s all done.

This time of year can feel incredibly lonely. It’s the little moments that get you. The small things you didn’t realise you’d miss so much until you’re doing them alone.

Don't Be Hard On Yourself

But if you’re feeling any of this, please know you’re not the only one. It’s completely normal to feel resentful sometimes, to feel left out, to feel sad when everyone else seems so happy. This is what grief looks like. And it doesn’t make you ungrateful or bitter. It makes you human.

You’re still showing up. You’re still creating memories for your children, even when it’s hard. You’re still finding ways to carry the weight of it all. And in between the heaviness, there will be glimmers of light. A smile, a laugh, a peaceful moment. They might be small, but they matter.

You don’t have to have it all together. You’re allowed to grieve and breathe at the same time. And little by little, things do start to feel less heavy. Maybe not better straight away, but less crushing.

So, if the holidays are feeling hard, be gentle with yourself. You’re doing better than you think.

And if this resonates with you, please know you're not alone. You can always message me or any of the grief specialists in our directory.

About Wendy

Wendy Grainger is a Grief Specialist and certified Edu-Therapy™ grief and loss specialist. Wendy provides structured mental health and wellbeing programs to help people to voice emotional pain, find peace, and begin living presently again after loss, creating a safe space to be heard without judgment as she supports people navigating bereavements like death of a loved one, pregnancy loss, divorce, and more. You can find out more about Wendy here.